The female orgasm

Female orgasm tips

1. Masturbate. Masturbation is a great way to learn about your unique sexual response. Share this insight with your partner, or use your knowledge of your body's arousal patterns to guide yourself when you're with them. While I don't condone "faking it", if you're not ready to admit to faking, simply guide your partner to the types of touch you enjoy - he'll like you taking the initiative. (If it works, then everyone is happy, and no confessions are necessary, unless you want to).
2. She should come first. Since intercourse isn't directly responsible for reliable orgasms for women, if you orgasm before sex, you'll be hovering at the peak of your arousal pattern and will be better able to climax again during sex. Expecting to move from the start of excitement to climax during sex (which lasts an average of 10 to 11 minutes) is unrealistic for most women.
3. Accessorise. Racy toys include vibrators and lubricant. Many people don't realise how important it is to add lubricant when using a toy. Without it, the heat and friction can cause pain, and the lubricant increases sensitivity.
4. Relax. Your brain is your most important sexual organ, so if orgasm is front and centre on your brain, your cerebral response has hijacked your pleasure response. Distract yourself by changing positions or pleasuring your partner.
5. Meditate. Not during sex, at other times. Meditation helps you practise relaxation, breathing, positive focus, decreasing your distractions and letting go.

Discover more from our sex and relationship expert Dr Gabrielle Morrissey here.